Sometimes it all feels really easy to me. I can't eat certain food so I don't buy certain food. I don't enjoy every single thing I eat these days, but I'm growing to appreciate it if not find pleasure in it. It's making me really evaluate my relationship with food. I used to do so many things simply because it felt good. Whatever pleasure I could find, I felt entirely justified for. Yes, that might mean gaining more and more weight with every year, feeling trapped, feeling helpless. But eating is such an amazing experience, from the texture to the temperature to the flavor. I usually didn't have a problem stopping when I was full. I wouldn't eat and eat just for the fun of it, but I would never anything healthy. I based my eating choices based on what made me feel good/satisfied and that was the greatest motivation. The only thing that mattered. Why? Why did I view food as a source of positive feelings rather than a source of fuel? 

I know this question isn't unique to me. A lot of people, overweight or not, have that same expectation of food. Food is no longer viewed as a necessity, but rather a luxury. The richer the food, the more decadent, the more pleasure we find in it, the better. I can't even begin to untangle how fucked up the relationship is between western culture and food. We've warped the relationship on so many levels that I fear we'll never, ever be able to fix it, and people will continue to suffer and die as a result. We're spoiled with variety, huge grocery stores carefully and well stocked to tempt us with every culture, every corner of the world, every sugary and starchy treat. But I don't think we truly appreciate that variety. Most people just eat the same things every week because it's what they know, what's comfortable. But all that variety sends the continuous message that we should deeply enjoy, relish, exult in, and embrace every single thing we consume. Added to that problem is the rising fury over the "obesity epidemic" and how insulting, cruel, and uncaring people can be towards their overweight brethren while we continue to teach children they MUST eat 8-12 servings of carbs per day and that meat and fat should be avoided--a proposition that's relatively new in human history, not at all supported by science, and actively harming our entire society. 

Then you hear people say "Oh, I'd do low carb but I could NEVER live without bread/cupcakes/cheese cake/ice cream/pizza/pasta/rice/fruit/etc." That chaps my hide. You CAN live without your favorite food. Seriously. In fact, mankind has been surviving for thousands of years without the food we're now being told is essential to our lives. Eating carbs causes acne, gas, irritable bowel syndrome, spiking blood sugar levels, weight gain, diabetes 2, headaches, exhaustion, and dozens of other minor and major inconveniences. Sugar stimulates the same portion of your brain as cocaine. So when you announce that you can't live without your favorite starch, your essentially admitting an addiction to a substance that harms your body with every bite. If the topic was about alcohol, nicotine, or actual cocaine, nobody would accept such a silly excuse. Nobody would ever say it and expect to be taken seriously. "I know I'm going to die, and I would quit, but I just could NEVER live without my bottle of vodka." And yet if you're talking about food, that sort of behavior isn't only supported, it's endorsed by the government and medical professionals. Most people who low carb experience the "Atkins flu." When you give up sugar, you feel like shit for about a week. Like when you give up caffeine or any other addictive yet poisonous substance. 

I'm not so much writing this because I was to convert people--and I use that word deliberately. Eating practices are as sacred to some people as their religion. For some people, religious beliefs/practices are easier to change. Is it because we all have a personal relationship with food? Is it because we often eat what we were taught to eat by our family and immediate peers? Is it because it's a communal act whether we want it to be one or not? Is it because no matter what, we all have to eat? I believe you have to find the path that makes you happy. But at the same time, the lack of real education, the continuing nutritional lies,and the hysteria over obesity is frustrating to say the least. 

I've completely drifted from my original topic, which is that my number one concern when it comes to food shouldn't be taste. Food is fuel, and it can occasionally be more than that. It SHOULD occasionally be more than that. There really is no greater pleasure in this world than expertly seasoned and cooked food, and I'm  not going to pretend otherwise. But in my day to day life, I need to be aware that there are greater concerns. 

I had major pains in my legs again today. They pretty much ruined the entire walk for me. I still made my mile, but it really wasn't the pleasant walk through the park I was hoping for. Literally. I went to the park and the day was absolutely beautiful.  

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